All posts tagged: truth

For the first time in 4 years, I believed in God again.: Hallucinations while High

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the post-God side

Having zero experience with marijuana but wanting to experience it with some good friends visiting, I accidentally inhaled more of the vape pen with concentrated cannabis oil than I should have.  Within minutes, I was collapsed on the ground and totally lost all awareness of reality as we knew it. It started with “this very moment” separating.  Like multiple transparencies from 7th grade school projectors layered on top of each other, starting to separate, so […]

Perfect is Ugly.

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the godless side / the post-God side

God was perfect.  Jesus was perfect.  And the message, over and over again, was that I am not perfect. But in order to be worthy of heaven, worthy of standing in the presence of god, worthy of LOVE,…..we had to be.  Perfect. Over and over, I learned that there were two ways of life — perfect, or not.  No in-between.  Pass or fail. And how can we live that way?  Always worried, never enough.  Never […]

Music and the existential

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the post-God side

I don’t have the words for describing this feeling.   Metaphysical, existential even.  It’s like speaking a language when the experience exists outside communication.  But I’m going to try. I’d like to believe that instilled within all of us is a detector for that which is especially captivating.   Moments and experiences that are so filled with love and beauty that it evokes unexplained emotions. Some call the experience a spiritual one.   Actually, most people probably do.  […]

Lives ARE changed by Jesus. How?

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leaving Christianity / the Christian side

Patterns in our brain our formed when our conscious thoughts take root into our subconscious.  In other words, when we do, say, or think things intentionally that we are aware of often enough that they then become part of us when we aren’t readily aware of them. How?  By spending intentional time in various activities that solidify thought patterns in our conscious mind that then create new brain pathways, and those pathways are solidified through […]

Depression for an a-theist

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the godless side

There is pressure, maybe we all feel it, to present a strength to the world.  That you are strong.  That either your life is so good it’s worth envying, or it’s so hard that we should all admire your strength within it.  That there is an inner force within oneself, a strong one, that knows things.  That figures them out.  That is the teacher and the student.  We applaud the successes or the authenticity in […]

Religion costs me $75 per week + all my tears

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the godless side / the post-God side

My emotional and mental struggles were a bit too convoluted to solve on my own, so I started seeing a therapist several months ago.  I see him almost weekly because of the depths of entanglement within me.  His evidence-based approach is refreshing, as he uses science, physiology of the brain and brain chemistry, and research-based methods from years of experience and studies to give useful solutions.  There are reasons, there are answers, and there are […]

My Parents’ Third Coming.

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the godless side

Dysfunction doesn’t always correlate with religion, does it?  There are actually religious people that have good, healthy families, right? My parents just left from a week-long visit to see their brand-new granddaughter.  (We are now a family of 4! 😀 )  Living 1000+ miles away from them, sometimes I forget what it’s like to navigate the stormy waters of my family’s dysfunction.  I think up these great plans of fun adventures to have with my […]

Don’t give me your anecdotes.

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the godless side / the post-God side

I posted this on Facebook because I wanted to subtly send a message to all of our ridiculous friends/family that use anecdotes to try to convince us of anything from crystal healing to the power of prayer. : In the past month, I haven’t been bitten by a snake. Or had a headache. Or been pregnant. Or seen double. And my hair has grown longer. And I’ve been mostly happy. Also, in the past month, […]