All posts tagged: love

Identity in Christ = Worthlessness

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the godless side

Finding your identity in Christ… This was a message spoken to me day-to-day, week-to-week for decades.  It was about my self-worth, and my need to find it in another entity.  What does that mean when that entity disappears from your psyche by disbelief in his existence?  It means your worth disappears along with it. My worth, as a human, inherently and intrinsically, was always nothing.  I was only valuable through the eyes of god, who […]

The Secret to My Happiness

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the post-God side

In my journey, I’ve lived through high-stress major-life challenges, as many of us have.  Some learn to cope better with others, but like many, anxiety ramped up in my late twenties – now 30- and became the go-to reaction that I’ve been learning to navigate and combat in these last few years. Some key tools for calming anxiety and finding happiness are: 1. Mindfulness (noticing the details around you, engaging your senses, and then appreciating […]

I may not believe in the spiritual, but I believe in the Holy

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the godless side / the post-God side

(Written while listening to this song if you want to listen too and get a little more in my head space). After working yesterday close to the coast, I drove 15 minutes up to the most beautiful place on earth (IMO), Ecola State Park on the Oregon Coast.. Without my children, without my husband, without my phone, I could disengage undistractedly as I stood on the edge of eternity.  The brilliant sun, the roaring ocean.  […]

Scrooged Soul Transformed.

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the godless side / the post-God side

I always used to feel guilty whenever I didn’t journal frequently as a Christian.  It was one of those things I was supposed to do and it tangibly identified my faithfulness in consistency with my “time with God,” as we called it. I suppose I view this blog as my new journal, although this time I actually have a real audience (as opposed to an omnipotent being that I thought poured over my every written […]

The morning after.

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leaving Christianity

Facing the day after yet another sleepless night, the one that followed the day I faced my greatest fear, my body is in a haze but my mind is on fire.  And my heart?  Trembling, it rejoices. One family member replied to my email writing that s/he was hurt, confused, grieving, and needed professional counseling.  That wasn’t easy, but the others?  Let me give you a glimpse: “I love you [Teal].” “My Dear [Teal], I […]