All posts tagged: fear

A practical look at anxiety and reprogramming your brain.

Leave a comment
leaving Christianity / the post-God side

I’m not sure how long anxiety has been a struggle in my life because so much of it required an awareness that I didn’t have prior to a couple years ago.  But the more I was aware of the symptoms, the more I realized how crippling it was in my life. So, I’ve been seeing a therapist for a year and half now — a great therapist with over 30 years of experience and extensive […]

Dear Pastor’s Wife.. (and deep mother wounds)

Leave a comment
leaving Christianity / the Christian side / the godless side / the post-God side

I wrote this letter a few days ago when I had some open-ended downtime allowing for the emotions to come forth.  I haven’t mailed it yet. Caroline* was my pastor’s wife during the church I attended from childhood through adulthood.  A mentor during tough times, a shoulder to cry on, a gentle support in times of need, she filled a role of mother in my life that I desperately needed during my teen and young adult […]

All babes go to hell.

comments 2
leaving Christianity / the godless side

A missionary friend of mine shared on Facebook some of her frustrations yesterday.  “I feel like I’m not doing enough, because I’m just home with the kids while my husband works in the ministry,” she wrote.  “But then my little girl [age 3.5 years] took out her Bible and asked me again why they killed Jesus.” Okay, had to stop there for a sec.  What horrible, horrible imagery for a THREE year old.  OMG thats […]

Human experience and/vs. memory.

comments 4
the godless side

My life philosophy now, “live in the moment,” is pretty much the only one that makes sense of a life typically only lasting 80 years and much shorter for the unlucky. But I’ve always had this lingering dissonance with that philosophy: Memory. What is the point of an experience if there is no memory of it later?  If I had no memory of my life before this point, what would my life be?  I wouldn’t […]

My Parents’ Third Coming.

comments 4
the godless side

Dysfunction doesn’t always correlate with religion, does it?  There are actually religious people that have good, healthy families, right? My parents just left from a week-long visit to see their brand-new granddaughter.  (We are now a family of 4! 😀 )  Living 1000+ miles away from them, sometimes I forget what it’s like to navigate the stormy waters of my family’s dysfunction.  I think up these great plans of fun adventures to have with my […]

Religious differences didn’t break up my family.

comments 4
the godless side / the post-God side

Compared to last year, my parents’ visit this time around was phenomenal.  That word is strong, but it is contrasted with the worst week I have experienced. I was actually pretty shocked at how gracious and loving my parents were this year.  They spent 2.5 weeks here with us and stated their main purpose was twofold (1) to see us, of course, and (2) to do whatever they could to help us with our startup […]

The Second Coming of my Parents

Leave a comment
the godless side / the post-God side

The end of last summer was the hardest of my life.  I blogged a lot about this and the extreme emotion difficulties of coming out to my parents, their reaction, and their subsequent visit to Utah where we live.  It was horrible, dysfunctional, silent but deadly, and completely disheartening and chaotic when any words did emerge. It’s been almost a year since then, a year since I’ve seen them, a year since I chased them […]

Why being Facebook Official is important

comment 1
the godless side / the post-God side

Needing to be Facebook official for anything may seem incredibly cliche, shallow, or cheesy, but there is a great reality to it.  Facebook (and similar social media) exposes oneself to the scrutiny of any and all without ceasing.  There is no privacy (duh).  And unlike anything in the real world, there is no correcting miscommunication, for those that saw your original something may not be those that see a corrected something.  One has to be […]

Anti-Evolution or Anti-Truth?

Leave a comment
the godless side / the post-God side

Anger. So much anger at deception. This morning I wandered upstairs to make a decaf maple latte, and I saw some new curriculum sitting on the table for our friends who homeschool their children.   Schooling paraphernalia commonly litters the upstairs during school hours, but it rarely catches my attention like this new, thick, scholarly-looking book: Evolution: The Grand Experiment Vol. 1, “The Quest for an Answer” by Dr. Carl Werner. An atheist profoundly attracted to […]

The manipulation of religion in action

comments 4
the godless side / the post-God side

Tonight we brought dinner over to our dear friends Gavin and Jane, the parents who just lost their baby girl, and my husband’s best friend growing up.  As I’ve mentioned, both Gavin and Jane are still in the community that Silver left — fundamentalist Mormonism. Jane made a comment tonight, “I don’t know what I believe anymore,” a totally understandable sentence from a mother who lost her only daughter.  “I don’t like the feeling that I […]