All posts filed under: the post-God side

My first real experience with alcohol

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the godless side / the post-God side

I’m 29 and I’ve never had as much alcohol as is in my system now. I just wanted to write down my observations while I felt the substance. How could anyone drive like this?? I am extremely aware of the fact that I can’t move normally.  Do people get less aware the amount that alcohol affects them the more alcohol they have? I feel clumsy and like the world around me is spinning.  My head […]

I can’t believe what just happened. Or some other click bait. Because THIS.

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the godless side / the post-God side / Uncategorized

I’m still sweating.  That kind of nervousness that lightly gathers on your forearm, the back of your neck, your upper lip.  That kind that is preceded by a hot wave reddening your cheeks and followed by a large unsettling sickness in your belly causing your heart to race and fingers to shake. My husband comes from a fundamentalist Mormon (polygamist) sect.  We are spending Christmas with them.  And every night, their family gathers in a circle […]

Is life a Miracle?

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leaving Christianity / the godless side / the post-God side

Christians love to talk about the miracle of life.  In fact, I associated this feeling of specialness and self-importance with Christianity itself, assuming this religion held the monopoly on having purpose, being chosen, one-of-a-kind, rare, and entirely unique.  This correlation continued into my unbelief and contributed largely to my feeling of disconnect, unimportance, aloneness, and a deep despair due to my constant what’s-the-point thinking. Apart from being angering at the (hopefully) unintentional manipulation of religion […]

Cure to the Curse of Eve.

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the post-God side

I wrote a blog post a couple months ago titled “The Curse of Eve.”  In it I wrestle with my struggle of being a creative woman with ambition while trying to be a good mother and yet feeling totally torn between my evolutionary biology and feminist worldview. But I think I solved the problem guys.  Here’s what we’ve been missing: Community. Western society is completely individualized and isolates each separate nuclear family from the rest […]

Religious differences didn’t break up my family.

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the godless side / the post-God side

Compared to last year, my parents’ visit this time around was phenomenal.  That word is strong, but it is contrasted with the worst week I have experienced. I was actually pretty shocked at how gracious and loving my parents were this year.  They spent 2.5 weeks here with us and stated their main purpose was twofold (1) to see us, of course, and (2) to do whatever they could to help us with our startup […]

The Second Coming of my Parents

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the godless side / the post-God side

The end of last summer was the hardest of my life.  I blogged a lot about this and the extreme emotion difficulties of coming out to my parents, their reaction, and their subsequent visit to Utah where we live.  It was horrible, dysfunctional, silent but deadly, and completely disheartening and chaotic when any words did emerge. It’s been almost a year since then, a year since I’ve seen them, a year since I chased them […]


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the godless side / the post-God side

It’s been over a month since my last post.  I think that’s the longest stretch since I started this blog.  Let my silence be a demonstration of the difficulties life can be.  I want to say, “for people who lose faith,” but I think it’s so much more complex than that — and everyone goes through hard stuff. I’ve spoken many times throughout my posts about the newness of freedom and life and joy I […]

The Curse of Eve.

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the godless side / the post-God side

I’m a 27 year-old female with a 15 month-old toddler by my side and a 13 week-old baby growing in my body. I graduated high school in 2006 with a 4.0 GPA first of my class of nearly 1,000 students.  I received several academic awards, got a 32 ACT score, and tested 5/5 on AP Calculus, AP Psychology, and AP Biology.  (Bear with me.) But God called me to be a missionary, so I abandoned […]

What DO I believe?? We are our salvation

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the godless side / the post-God side

 Now that I no longer believe in a supernatural God-man to save the souls from eternal damnation nor to set people free from addiction and oppression, I have cast my vision horizontally to look to ourselves for our freedom, for our salvation. I didn’t even do this consciously. It just sort of happened as I left theism. Upon reflection, I think that explains a lot of my new passions (some of which I had as […]

What DOES that Bible really say about parenting?

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the godless side / the post-God side

I’ve mentioned that one of my current passions is Attachment Parenting. I wrote a post on my non-anonymous blog a week or two ago that got people pretty fired up when I shared it on facebook. My point was to challenge the notion that raising a child “God’s Way” (via the methods of parenting in books like “Growing Kids God’s Way” and “Babywise”) was not only counter to current research and science on epigenetics, child […]