Six Days — and on the 7th, I say “HERE I AM!”

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leaving Christianity
The sunset by our home.

The sunset by our home.

Thinking through the most momentous milestones in my life, I think I’ve got it down to these:

  1. The day I moved away from home to go to college
  2. The day I got out of an abusive relationship
  3. The day I met my husband
  4. The day I moved overseas
  5. The day I birthed my baby girl, naturally, with no drugs
  6. The day I was honest with my family about my unbelief

This isn’t to say that graduations or celebrations or moving other places or the first time I tried a white mocha or polarized sunglasses or a myriad of other very significant times in my life weren’t important — just not quite the caliber as these others.  What’s the connecting factor?

Empowerment.

All 6 days instilled in me a sense of a powerful self.  And after experiencing #6 yesterday, I no longer think it is just a sense.  It is the truth — I AM powerful.  I faced, waded in, and conquered my deepest fear, and instead of emerging lifeless and trembling, I feel as the sun rays coming through a dark storm.  This self of mine may be new and inexperienced, may feel a bit naked and unsure, but I am empowered.  It may be (and is) bruised from others’ reactions to it, but my thought process is changing to a compassionate “their loss” rather than a fearful “my pain.”

I am so excited for my own vibrancy that will be birthed from this.  No longer crippled by the fear of fear, I will finally be introduced to myself.   Welcome to life, me!

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The Author

I'm a closet atheist christian missionary. Paradigm shifts happen frequently for those who allow themselves to think critically about currently held beliefs and openly about new ones. I’ve developed the skill, or perhaps addiction, for change but the community around me is slow to catch up -- and would damn me if they knew where I stood.

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